What is love?

I always thought I knew what love was, how to catch it and keep it but recently I’m not so sure. Is there a golden rule that you must love a person or even love at all. Are you heartless if you don’t believe in love? Is love a physical feeling, a mental feeling, the butterflies in the gut, the overthinking in your brain, thoughts of the future or letting them go and freeing them to be happy even if you’re not?

Recently I haven’t been sure that I’ve ever felt love before or if I even know what love is. It’s been a thought that’s been playing on my mind lately and with Valentine’s day coming up, I thought that there was some room for thought about love.

Is love a physical feeling, a mental feeling, the thought of spending the rest of your life with your soulmate / best friend, your high school crush who finally notices you, the guy you matched with on Tinder and grew fond of?

Is love even something that has to be permanent? Can you love someone for just the day or even the night spent with them or is it something that grows overtime and develops into a forever? Forever is something that I find difficult at the best of times. I guess it’s easy to get used to being forgotten about, disposed of, dropped and replaced. This is something that I found common in friendships and yes relationships too.

I’ve just turned 22 and i’ve realised that I haven’t been enjoying life enough. I’m so scared of thinking about other peoples opinions and actions that I’m so scared to just stop and let myself be happy. When was the last time you lived in the moment and didn’t worry about other peoples thoughts? Mine was at a gig recently seeing my favourite band Architects. Going to gigs always feels like home, it’s a space where I feel happy and free.

The past few years I fell in love with myself, made some new friends that I hope are for life but if they aren’t then that’s okay. Everything happens for a reason, the people you meet, the places you go and the actions you take. I believe they are all a path that you’ve been set out to follow since you were born.

I’ve been in three official relationships in my life now and dated a few people along the way. I believe with my heart, head, gut and soul that I have loved three of them. Each time was a different kind of love, some more intense, some more difficult, some more one sided but that’s okay. I believe that love is different for everyone, it can be said within a few hours, a day, a week, a months or years. Love is different for everyone and no one should EVER tell you if you love someone or not.

Love can be buying a new pair of shoes that you can’t wait to wear, that candle that you burn only on special occasionas, the movie that you cried at last night, the boy in front of you in class who smiles at you every day and makes your heart skip a beat, the new puppy that you got, the feeling of a bubble bath after a tough day. It doesn’t have the be physical, mental or long term. For a boy, girl, friend of family member. Love is different for anyone, given not requested, earned not deserved and most importantly unique.

Love for me has been the butterflies that you get in your stomach before seeing them, the electric shocks you get all over your body when they touch you, the world pausing when you kiss and the fear of loosing them and loosing your inner bliss. I’m so lucky to have loved and not lost hope even when times were tough. I can’t wait to fall in love again and see where it takes me but right now I want to love myself and my life.

That’s okay. Sometimes you need to be selfish and think about your own happiness

I hope you guys enjoyed this little blog full of some thoughts that have been on my mind recently. I know it’s not my usual blog post but in the new year I want to make an effort to write blog posts without force. If I don’t post a blog each week thats okay but I want to pour my heart and soul into each blog post.

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